Lust

They say I won't be able to handle this, 

I won't be able to accept you're gone,

I won't be able to detach.

I don't know how I might react when you leave.

For with us there are no promises or little whispers of love.

There are no gentle gazes or romantic dinners.

What there is, is a violent streak of passion.

A need to devour each other and be satisfied. 

When I am with you, when I lie next to you, exhausted yet satisfied,

I often wonder what this means? 

This relationship, what is it! 

I have no answer. I'm afraid to ask you, for I might lose you.

But when you nibble my lip or kiss my ear I feel so fulfilled.

Will I get attached? 

I don't know.

You refuse to talk.

You leave me with no other option but withdrawal owing to my proneness to be broken.

Direction

How must I tread these Pastures of life? 

If I were the wandering breeze,

Tamed only by my spirit,

If I were the rebellious stream,

Controlled only by my fancies,

How would I proceed?

Would I let trees and boulders curtail me once in a while? 

Or would I be careful around these?

Would I be impulsive or would I plan my journey? 

Would I ever slow down or change my course? 

The anticipation of the journey is more complex than the journey itself! 

But, then again, how would I tread these pastures of life? 

Musings on a Saturday Evening

I look out of my window at the setting sun and realise how things have changed.

I realise, my decisions are no longer carefree.

I realise, my actions are no longer impulsive. 

And suddenly from daddy's darling I've transformed into a young independent woman.

I no longer depend on mummy for food or laundry.

I decide when is the right time to come home.

When I work too late, no one peeps into my room asking me to sleep.

I realise, I'm suddenly eating more salad and fruits.

Going to the gym is a part of my daily routine. 

These new responsibilities, this new independence. 

They've definitely made all the difference.

A Little Unconventional

Sometimes seeing greater griefs of others doesn't make me less unhappy.

Sometimes I can be terribly mean.

This one weekend I decided to stay home.

The other day, I also had a bottle of wine by myself.

On the 13th I decided I have to walk out of this relationship because it's making me unhappy.

Today I was extraordinarily nice to my previous boyfriend.

Yesterday I didn't even acknowledge my neighbour at the supermarket.

Often I stare at the stars too long.

Being alone makes me melancholy.

I sneakily licked food off my fingers at a formal restuaraunt.

I'm a little weird, a little erratic.

I don't always have control over myself.

This makes me happy.

I shun this obsessive need to be perfect, to have certain emotions and behaviours.

I like a little unconventional.

Tinted Glasses

I I've always looked at everything through tinted glasses,

Some sights amazed me because of their grandeur,

Some disinterested me because they were so dull.

I liked my tinted glasses, they gave me an inexplicable power.

A power to see as I wanted.

One day, just out of curiosity I put my glasses down,

Amazed I was as my eye beheld an array of colours I never knew existed.

I was experiencing so much more than I had earlier.

I realised my attachment to my tinted glasses wasn't the best thing for me.

There were colours I would see and dislike, but now with a satisfaction of disliking them for their actual being.

Pre-held notions prevent us from seeing people as who they are.

How amazing would it be if we could let go of these notions just like the tinted glasses.

Each individual is a different colour, losing the tinted glass would help to appreciate and know so many more of our kind.

And just then the world would be such a colourful place.

The solitary light on a monstrous mountain

The solitary light on a monstrous mountain. 

How did it get the courage to alone conquer darkness with its weak beam?

What purpose was it serving?

How long has it been there?

How long shall it glow?

Who is it that this light benefits?

Perhaps I'll never know.

That weak beam, sent a strong message.

A message of determination and dedication.

To silently do what you must.

Like the Happy Wind!

I want to wander like the happy wind,

To scale great heights,

To bathing in sunshines,

To dancing on roaring waves,

To calmly sitting by shady trees,

I want to be the sunshine touching old churches,

I want to explore dark caves,

I want to penetrate the deepest corners of the universe! 

For while I wander, I find!

I find snippets of this soul that only knows to wander!

The Kiss

When they kissed for the first time , a storm raged within them.

Winds of passion swept past them,

That one gentle kiss had rendered havoc in their hearts.

Peace

Perched on a treehouse, looking at a beautiful river flow gently I wondered;

Is the river tired or has it matured? 

After fighting courageously all that came in the way of its fast paced journey has the river mellowed down now?

The robin flew by, and the sun was beginning to say goodbye.

I began to think if the river has finally made peace with what it could not conquer.

Maybe that's how it was.

Maybe sometimes it's best to make peace with what we cannot have and move ahead without any baggage.

To move ahead is not to age.

It is to understand, to take on newer beginnings with renewed vigour and a gentle healed spirit.

Escape

I'm planning an Escape!

An Escape where sunsets and sunrises are spectacular.

An Escape where life has a slow pace.

An Escape into a different era ,

An Escape where I can hear the rustle of the leaves,

An Escape to a beach where I can sip champagne,

Or to a village, sitting by the window pane.

A cup of coffee and a romantic walk in the rain.

An Escape to my childhood, 

Sitting on a swing.

An Escape into the future.

An Escape from this need to escape.

Capture with your eyes

They say every picture tells a story.

Well, I can see a lot of these stories around me.

The billion selfies tell a story of self obsession, of loneliness, of vanity.

In the past the camera catered to capturing moments, but today those moments are lost.

We are so busy taking pictures for admiration, we forget what we are losing out on.

Your friend sitting next to you just got dumped, SO? So what ? Butfirstletmetakeaselfie! 

Your parents want to talk to you! But picture! 

Who is this illusion for? 

For social media,which changes so radically! 

For those few likes? 

For those who admire you? But do they know the hollowness they admire?

Start taking pictures from your eyes, and capture those moments so well that the flashes never fade.

Make memories, not pictures!

You for you

As you look at your father lovingly , hers' violated her.

As your mother feeds you, his sold him.

As your brother protects you, hers' killed her.

As you husband respects you, hers' humiliated her.

As your sister cares for you, hers' forced her into prostitution.

She got pushed, deeper and deeper, waiting to be rescued, waiting for help to come.

When no help came, she gave up hope.

And then she fought,she struggled and survived.

The days for knights in shining armours are gone.

Today it's just You for YOU! 

Help yourself, empower yourself.

Closing.

The door was left ajar,

She walked in and then she walked out.

She shouldn't have walked in at all.

Each time she missed him, she walked in.

Each time she walked out , her self respect was a little low. 

She repeated this a few times till she was ashamed.

She realized the need to close the door.

How could she but? 

Was she that strong ?

She gathered all her brokenness, and mustering all her strength she closed this door.

It wasn't an easy task, her insides yelled and pleaded to walk in just once more. 

But this time she just sternly closed the door.

He still dint close his door. 

She wondered sometimes. What if he might knock one day ?

Alone

I have a billion friends.

I have a loving family.

I have inspirational teachers.

Yet, I am alone.

No, I'm not lonely. But yes, I'm alone.

This is my journey. 

Unique and revealing.

The answers of it's toughest questions lie within me.

These mysterious signals, only I can decipher.

It's custom made for me.

The learning is mine ,and so is the suffering.

There might be people who sometimes drop a hint I could use.

But, this travel is for me to make. On my own.

For I am alone and so are you. 

The sooner, you realize this and abandon your itching search for companionship, you will be able to move ahead.

But, you must make this journey alone.

I am the infinite universe

Who am I ? 

Am I  a diligent daughter? 

Am I the passionate lover?

Am I the loyal wife? 

Maybe I am the obedient student.

Or am I the knowledge-hungry seeker? 

Or the curious mountaineer ?

Someone says I am an avid reader!

Im still perplexed, I know not who I am.

What is my aim? 

What is my greater goal? 

In a sudden moment there was a realisation,

The answer becameso clear.

I knew then that;

I am the infinite universe.

There are no boundaries to what I can achieve or what I can be.

For, I'm as significant as the universe and as insignificant as a bacteria! 

Yet, I am infinite.

Dust thou art to dust returnest

His was a simple life , he loved, he gave and he forgave. 

In his private moments he often feared oblivion. 

Will those kids remember my goodness? Will my colleagues remember my help? 

Will anyone miss me after I'm gone? 

When his time on earth was done, many wept over his coffin.

But the coffin was lowered into the ground and covered with earth. 

As time healed wounds, the colleagues forgot him.

The children couldn't recall the uncle who would without fail bring them candies.

Mother Nature,however,did not. 

She had integrated him into the greater system.

Several years later , he was blooming as a flower here , but wait! He was also that tiny sappling popping out of the earth. 

He was everywhere , he would be immortal.

Year after year, parts of him would continue to bloom in different places.

He, who was born from dust had returned to dust. 

In the process Mother Nature had proven wrong his fears and the fears of many of his clan.

The first flight she ever took alone

A little apprehensive, a little scared and full of excitement she boarded her first flight alone! 

Off to a different Land,with a different language and a different culture, she was eager to explore and live her dream.

When the flight landed, the world unravelled to her a magnificent painting.

She could hardly believe she was living in it.

It felt like the place had renewed her spirit  and revitalised her.

Suddenly all worries, responsibilities and plans receeded into the background.

She was living in the moment.

Over the next few days, she met amazing people and developed deep emotional bonds.

Although the people did not speak crisp English, she understood that language isn't as much a barrier as people make it.

She also felt that human compassion is way too underrated.

The little chats with these different people changed how she perceived the world.

The stories they told engrossed her and amazed her.

The pictures they showed left her in awe.

She realised how different they were from her and how this difference was good.

She faught many of her fears abroad.

She went on roller coasters ,allowed herself to indulge in alcohol and most importantly learnt how to live alone.

While leaving she was a changed person! 

Her soul was liberated and she was determined! 

She was determined to live her life on her terms! 

This flight abroad had indeed been her first flight.

Letting Go.

The tree loses it's leaves,never it's root.

The grass turns brown and dies yet, the land is always covered by soil.

The permanent things lack colour, they might not be as exciting as the temporary   ones, yet they hold you even when the colour deserts you and the excitement betrays you.

The strange thing about permanent things is that they always cling on. 

At this point in your life, everyone is probably busy and has dynamic priorities.

Today you might steal the number one spot on their priority list tomorrow you might be at the bottom.

However, there will always be those few 'roots' in your life.

Those people who have been there in your darker days, will probably be there for the brighter ones.

And as for the ones who haven't, well! 

Consider them the leaves that fell out.

But can you blame the leaf for falling out? Can the tree be angry ? 

No! The tree has a greater fate! 

Let go! Don't hold on too tight. 

Don't complicate. Be happy and allow yourself to bloom because one day the tree and the leaf must seperate. 

The Higher Thought

One day , it hit her.

It shook her, it changed her.

She realised,how small she was,how trivial were her worries,how ordinary her thoughts.

She learnt of Game Changers! 

She learnt of their humility,their action and thought!

It made her question her desires.

She introspected, till it finally came to her.

Money, Fame and Companionship are trivial goals in life.

Aspirations should be to be humble,compassionate and dynamic!

Desires should be to meet new people,to acquire more knowledge and to be content.

It's easy to earn money, be famous and enjoy luxuries.

The real hard things in life don't come so easy.

Having discovered this path,she knew someday she will look back and smile.

Draupadi's Soulmate

She,born of fire,

He,son of Surya.

She,quick witted and eager,

He,level headed and noble.

They seemed a perfect match until Maya and pride tore them apart.

In a court full of noblemen, she called him the son of a charioteer and refused his marriage proposal.

It burnt him, he hated her.

But their souls were always meant to be one.

Prithvi exploited her, it shamed her , he watched in silence.

Prithvi humiliated him, she never revolted.

She was wife to 5 Pandavas and he a dear Kaurava friend .

It was Destiny's cruel move ,her soul yearned for him ,and his soul for her.

These 2 souls could never be one , the world had torn them apart. 

All his life, he seeked her tender care and she yearned for his companionship. But this wasn't possible , they were minions at the hand of Destiny. 

In Kurukshetra, the battle was fierce.

All she wanted was his safety.

In retrospect she often wondered, he would never share her with another man, he would never allow her to be stripped off her clothes and no he would never  have let her be someone's maid.

He tried hard to conceal his love for her,which showed in his eyes.

On Prithvi their love was immoral,illegal and impossible . Yet , in Swarga their souls reunited. What wasn't possible on Prithvi where aham ,maya,lobh  

,eersha,rosh bind us , was  possible in Swarga where Draupadi and Krana were one. Their love was is and will be immortal .